So all too often these days women are asking themselves “is my body beautiful?” and most of the time the answer in their heads is no, even if everyone around them thinks they are the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.

The body debate is something that is taking over our news feeds, filling our magazines and controlling our thought process… we are living in a world where perfection is desirable but entirely unattainable and people will go to any lengths to give it a go.

I am not writing this to preach – I myself have succumbed to the fad of crash diets, healthy eating, looking in the mirror and judging myself against society standards of perfection…

I have my “fat” days – days where I feel downright ugly when I look in the mirror, days where my makeup doesn’t sit right on my face, days when I am blogging and I have to take hundreds of pictures just to find one that I like… and the truth of the matter is… I’m not fat, I’m not ugly, I just, like most women, have numerous insecurities.

I have many body parts that I would change if I could… for example if I could redistribute a little of my well endowed “derriere” a little further north to the area right above my rib cage then I certainly wouldn’t be complaining 😉 I have been “blessed” with a little more “junk in the trunk” than I would have desired, which of course is amazing when I am shaking it like Beyonce on the dance-floor but perhaps not the most fun thing when I am in the changing room of Topshop or River Island trying on my 23rd pair of jeans because none of them will fit… At the end of the day however, is my “behind” really the problem here? or is it my attitude? If I could simply learn to love the body I have been given and to accept every “flaw” then wouldn’t I be a much happier person? 

Let me ask you this… what is your definition of a perfect body?

Is it Double D boobs? a 26inch waist? long legs?

or is it something much deeper? Is it something that we have to develop from the inside?

I suppose what bothers me most about the body debate is societies tendency to bully and internet troll. If a size zero woman posts a bikini selfie, she gets slated for being too thin, for being a bad influence on society, a bad role model for teenagers… she is slated for encouraging eating disorders when all the poor girl may be doing is posting a picture in which she initially felt confident and secure. On the other hand, if a plus sized lady posts a similar bikini selfie, the reaction can be quite different. Some people will praise her for having the confidence to “parade her body” even though she is “overweight” and some of course will slate her for encouraging overeating. Again what we are overlooking is that these pictures are simply confident girls, happy with the way they look in a picture, posting them online.

Why on earth should their weight be an issue?

We shouldn’t say – this is a picture of a “fat” or “thin” girl, we should say, there is a girl who’s confidence I truly admire and aspire to.
I personally have received abuse in the past for posting progress pictures of exercise regimes, saying that I have been encouraging women to lose weight when they don’t need to… when in fact, I was simply encouraging women to be healthy within themselves. I have recently signed up to do a 6 week programme with Lisa Dee Fitness in Letterkenny, not to lose weight, but to get a better understanding of how to make my body healthy, improve my diet and encourage myself to make better choices to suit my own needs. I chose Lisa’s class as she doesn’t encourage anyone to be “skinny”, she encourages you to be the healthiest version of you that you can be, on the inside and the outside.

For me, the perfect body is one that is healthy and confident. I know many beautiful ladies who are size zero and have perfectly healthy diets, they are thin by nature, not by choice. I also know many stunning plus size girls who eat right, exercise and live well… again nature has chosen their body shape, not them. I am not saying that this is the case for everyone. Some people do make unhealthy lifestyle choices or some people can suffer from crippling mental illnesses which result in an unhealthy body image… either way, these people should not be bullied and abused.  They should be helped, guided in the right direction, encouraged to be confident and listened to when their problems become too much. They should not have their problems highlighted and sneered at by society. It is my opinion that those keyboard warriors hiding behind an online alias are in fact the ones that are not happy within themselves. The happiest people are those that support, encourage and guide fellow human beings to a world of acceptance, confidence and love.

So come on ladies, lets scrap the medias image of perfection and learn that everyone of us is perfect in our own way. I will help you if you will help me… together we can change the “ideal”.

The definition of a “real woman” is something that people are using to describe women who have curves… and whilst, yes they are in fact “real” so too are women who don’t. In fact they are every bit as real as the Victoria Secret angel and the women who works in the corner shop. We are all REAL, living, breathing human beings who deserve love and respect. Stop the trolling, stop the negativity and start loving each other… start loving yourselves. 

You may surprise yourself and find happiness where you wouldn’t have before.